Just a post space that I will reuse for updates....so yes, there are people I take note of their curiosities...I am grateful even if I sometimes consider myself to be a zoo animal of sorts among the gazes (not hating on the gazes)....even on the days where it is a holiday, busy, I have gas, covid (hocked up on things that alleviate the covid symptoms so all is looking normal, as I have a bout of horrible gas from the meds), in addition to being due for a long awaited vacation...at this point there is an inner-bitchiness occurring even if I am in a good mood or even if I am grateful, I still might be not so enthused to interact. Typically, at work, a place where all matters chaotic do occur, I typically don't like interacting at all, even if it is a good conversation or someone I find to be interesting. My place of work isn't designed in that way to focus on personable connection, it's everyday utilitarian put the fires out kind of operation, and couple it with certain youths that like to play it panopticon with me, even if I am twice their age with a background that should warrant a level of considerable respect....it's not happening on many levels...it's going to be uncomfortable chaos typically to step outside of the work focus, so I'd rather just get what you need, remain impersonal, and move on. My co-workers can likely relate to this. We encounter a lot of people, thousands in a week, and often the staffing is at "optimal efficiency," so let's get what you need and move on. It's not out of hatred or disinterest, it's just the way matters work or need to work. Something about the forum. Maybe I will connect with this in the right forum. I know at work there are those indications, but ultimately, I simply enjoy this process, so for me, there isn't such a need to connect directly. This public posting in and of itself makes the needed connection, and I will do this regardless, on or off the radar. I enjoy the entire matter outright. I'm not so focused on anything other than exploring unstructured information with informatic method...and also painting, some for show, some simply for me, exploring the surroundings. Life is never good nor bad; It's life, and it happens while we plan it. Oh look, an Amigo Cart just took out the banana table. Hello World. The matrix is fucking nuts.
